DOW'S WIT
Lorenzo Dow, preaching in the New London Methodist Church, was distracted by the whispering and laughing of a group of flashily dressed young women who sat in the gallery. At length, thoroughly indignant, he
stopped preaching; and, pointing to one of them, said in
solemn tones, as though telling her fortune: "You shall
be married soon. You shall have a farm of your own.
You shall have a white gown:' The young woman smiled
and hurled back at him the exclamation, "I shall be
delighted!" The people laughed at the impudence of her
retort. But Dow made a gesture to quiet them and then
continued solemnly, Your bride room will be death.
Your farm will be your grave. Your white gown will be
your shroud: ' He was no longer disturbed that night by
feminine giggles.
The famous General Jesse Root was stopping at the
inn of a man named Bush in Delhi, New York, when
Dow arrived there as a guest. The General and his host
conspired to engage Dow in conversation and, if possible,
to make him ridiculous. Accordingly, they asked Dow to
come into the parlor, along with a company of stragglers
from the barroom. Putting on a very serious air, they
asked him if he could give them a description of heaven.
Quite as serious in manner, Dow replied: "Heaven, my
friends, is a vast extent of smooth, rich territory. It is as
fertile as the hardwood lands and as smooth as the
prairies:' Smiles went around the company, but the interrogators
kept earnest expressions and nodded their heads.
Then Dow added: "There is not a ROOT or a BUSH in
it, and there never will be;" and with this he left the
room.
This article was taken from the book entitled "One Hundred and One Methodist Stories" by Carl F. Price and
published by the Methodist Book Concern.
